It finally happened....the cute guy that I've been perving over at work joined us for lunch today. We shook hands (mayor tingles..see paragraphs below) and he actually SPOKE.

Johan, we'll call him Johan, cause, well, it's his name, is an absolute babe!

See, I'm not your typical "oh I love u let's get married" babe, which for some reason leads to all my relationships getting way too serious, because all guys think that they will be the one that can change my mind. Guys, get this: not all girlies want to marry. Some of us just want someone to call up once a month and say fancy a movie and a fuck? Maybe between the two we can work in supper, cause you're gonna need the energy.

The problem with this is that all the guys that I've been with want to 'talk' after sex. I don't, I mean really what is there to say? I had an orgasm - it was great, can I sleep now? And what the hell is with the cuddle thing??? Spend more time on foreplay and forget the after cuddle!

I degress. Johan is not your typical business man. Sure, he wears a suit and those yucky shoes that go with suits (you know, the leather ones that look like school shoes). The secret to my infatuation comes from casual Friday. He wore jeans, a black T and doc martins. To make matters worse, I could see tattoos peeking out under BOTH sleeves. Man, did I ever want to rip that T-shirt off and.... uhm, yes - I'm sure you know what I mean.

Good lord, I feel like a little school girl! Thing is, I just want it to be a brief encounter, we're both working late and happen to bump (grin) into each other in the elevator and then maybe in the closet and on my boss's desk. I don't really want to get to know the guy - I just want to shag him!!

I've spent my entire grown -up life, since my 1st divorce, trying to avoid 'serious' relationships. My next supposed fling was with a waiter - someone who made a living out of flirting. We ended up trying to 'save each other'. I got him into a stable job and he convinced me that there is such a thing as 'love'. Right. That lasted right up to the point where he cheated, beat me up and to this day, has the power to scare the b-jesus outta me. We've been divorced since 2004, yet he is still part of my life. He is currently residing (for lack of a better word) with me. Not a day goes by that I don't wish him away. I want vanishing powder - any shamans or voodoo guru's out there that can help?

He was supposed to move out end of May - he's still there. He's supposed to move out this weekend - I don't know if he will. I've threatened with the police this time and maybe, just maybe, I will really call on them to assist with the evacuation. Thing is, he literally nags me into submission. No is not an option - he will nag (and by nag I mean he calls me up to 55 times a day!!! yes, we did count) until I am so worn out that I just give in to whatever. Be it another week of him staying there or tagging along to a lame-ass movie that I REALLY don't want to see or changing my dinner plans (normally a toasted cheese sandwich) into something that he likes just to get him TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!

But I degress again. Johan. Mmmmm, what a delectable uhm, gentleman? I don't think I have ever met a guy that is so shy. He literally cringes when he has to speak. He's obviously brilliant at what he does, all his superiors sing his praises and if I tell you he's a computer guru, you're picturing Bill Gates right?

Wrong. This guy has got an ass you can hop a coin on. Built like Vin Diesel (which is a big plus considering my vibrator is endearingly called Vinnie) just taller, head shaved, which is another big turn-on, I mean this guy HAS GOT IT ALL. I never realised I was such a pervert! Sure there is the Vin Diesel thing, but what are the chances? I don't even know if Mr Diesel knows that there is a country called South Africa, let alone that there would be a serious need for body guards if he ever decided to visit... but Johan ... I touched his hand and I could imagine that very hand on all sorts of other places and found myself wondering if he tastes as good as he looks?

How perverted am I? I'd love to get a rating from you guys....