So much to say...

Words are a bitch dontcha think. Especially if you've got a million of them buzzing around in your head, wanting to get out. Normally, I would just blog, but it seems that lately the little switch that processes words from my head to my mouth (or in this case my fingers) and only allows certain thoughts through has suddenly kicked back to life in a big way.

You know the old saying: watch what you say? For the first time in my life, that is what I am doing and I hate it. I always thought that the fact that I didn't analyse anything before I said it and just put it out there, pretty much a combination between BLAB and BLAH and then deal with the repercussions later.

I used to think that this was my weakness, so I started working on it. The first couple of weeks, I mostly walked around like a zombie, I'm sure a lot of people thought I'd sustained serious brain damage or that I was high. I never gave an answer right back (you know those answers that spring from yout gut? That is the sort of answer I normally give.) I started digesting and redigesting everything before responding and then CAREFULLY selected my response. I have now figured out what it means to be pensive and let me tell you: it bites.

In the past, I pretty much let rip and would tell you at the drop of a hat what I want, when I want it and how ( get ur mind out of the gutter - I'm NOT talking sexually ). Now that I actually consider what the outcome of all my comments might be my life is BORING and since I can pretty much predict how a conversation will end, I've slaughtered most of my coversational skills. It's almost the same as reading the same book for the second time when you really did a thorough reading the first time around - it's just there to kill time, cause you already know how it will end.

What I want to know is: what is the point of 'planned communication'? Why not just say what's on your mind to the people close to you and see if that doesn't get you further? Sure it's a risk: they could hurt you and they could (GASP) not agree with what you say, but at least it'll be honest communication and not a mind game. See for me game = winner/loser and in your relationships with people, it just isn't like that. You need to be able to respect each other even if you don't agree and then agree to disagree if need be.

There is such focus on image that in striving to fulfill the 'image', we are losing ourselves in the process. My thoughts:

1. You don't always have to think intelligent thoughts. It's okay to sit and wonder about silly things like would the world be more colourful if the grass was purple? And should someone happen to ask: 'what are you thinking about?', you should feel comfortable with telling them the truth rather than classifying it as a 'silly thought' and making an quasi-intellegent one up instead!
2. You shouldn't always have to justify what you are thinking or why. Thoughts are like bugs, they skittle into your brain without you knowing where they came from or where they plan to go, or, for that matter, what their intentions are.
3. To quote a great prophet of our times; Mike Meyers (in his role as Wayne in Wayne's world) "Live in the now!"
   

Special mention: my friend that came for supper last nite: thank you for reminding me that life is too short :o)

In closing {bet u thought this'd NEVER come}

These lyrics are from a song my sister dedicated to my girls and I'd like to dedicate it to all of you out there, this is my dream for all my friends and loved ones.

I Hope You Dance (Lee Ann Womack featuring Sons Of The Desert)


I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)