Spawn of Loki

Here's my theory: Loki was a dentist. I base my theory on what I've learnt about him from movies, but when I googled him today after my root canal I was more convinced than ever.

"Loki Laufeyjarson is the god of mischief in Norse mythology, a son of the giants Fárbauti and Laufey, and foster-brother of Odin. He is described as the "contriver of all fraud". He mixed freely with the gods for a long time, even becoming Odin's blood brother. Despite much research, "the figure of Loki remains obscure; there is no trace of a cult, and the name does not appear in place-names"[1].

Like Odin (though to a lesser extent), Loki bears many names : the Sly-One, the Sly-God, the Shape-Changer, the Trickster, the Sky Traveller, the Sky Walker, the Lie-Smith, among others."

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loki

There is no trace of a cult because all his offspring, followers and their bloodlines became dentists. Try to stay with me here...

Have you ever met a dentist who said to you: I am going to scratch in your teeth, drill the holes that you already have bigger, so that I can cement it "closed" for you. It will hurt like hell and if it doesn't, that means that you will have no feeling on one side of your face for the entire day. You will not be able to eat or drink anything without dribbling down your chin and looking like Jack Nicholson after the lobotomy in One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest.

They never tell you any of these things. The politely smile and ask: how can I help you?

"Nature

The trickster god is a complex character, a master of guile and deception. Loki was not so much a figure of unmitigated badness as a kind of celestial con man. Loki is an adept shape-shifter, with the ability to change both form (examples include transmogrification to a salmon, horse, bird, flea, etc.) and sex."

I don't understand how you wake up one morning and decide: Hey, when I grow up I want to be a dentist. Hence the theory about the bloodline. Another possibility is, of course, possession.

"Loki was the father (and in one instance the mother) of many beasts, humans and monsters."

And why, oh, why does it always have to end with root canal? Fine, I have to have a toothache that keeps me awake for at least two days before I call the dentist, but why does it always turn into 4 or 5 follow-up appointments with the promise of the infamous root canal?

My dentist is a very pretty little lady, who happens to be 6 months pregnant (refer to unisex abilities of Loki). The first time I went to see her, in considerable agony, I had the kids with me. They always get a lot of attention and of course, the lady herself being on the verge of extending the Loki bloodline, was enthralled.

Try answering these questions when you have 3 tampons in your mouth: How far apart were they born? Did you have a nice pregnancy (I've never heard of a 'nice' pregnancy)? How much did they weigh? How long were they in ICU? Where did you get their names from? Notice that none of these questions can be answered by a simple nod or head shake.

Have you seen the tools they use? Most of them are metal and have sharp and or jagged edges. I wonder, do they have candid camera lenses hidden somewhere that film you while you try to answer their questions without having a drill shoved midway up your soft pallet?

I am feeling very fragile and when I think about the fact that two weeks from now I'll be in that chair again, I remember why I love blogging: you can say anything, because for the most part you are anonymous :o)