Got this via e-mail. Sure it's 'cute', but I thought it needed some insightful comments from a girl's perspective. Comments in red

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures? I agree 100% with this statement, although 'simple' can be seen as a compliment, it should actually be guilable.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. There wouldn't have been a need for these if you weren't such an idiot. Why fuck up a good friendship by getting married? What is it with men and marriage anyway, what ever happened to the good ol' why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I know why: men are insecure and they assume once you marry them you are theirs, like a car or a lawnmower. Big no-no, remember guys, ringed pigeons fly best!
Chocolate is just another snack. Because men don't know how to appreciate the best things in life: chocolate, coffee and a whipped cream :o)
You can be President. The mind boggles, if there were women as presidents, there wouldn't be any wars, we'd TALK things out over a manicure. Wars are caused by over inflated ego's and sperm retention. Bill Clinton never started any wars.... who do we have to thank for that? Why Monica Lewinsky of course!
You can never be pregnant. Because you're too much of a pissy and wouldn't be abe to handle pregnancy, let alone childbirth or breastfeeding.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. And in both cases look like an idiot. Men tits are never attractive, and the guys that wear white t-shirts or no t-shirts to waterparks have men-tits in 85% of the cases. The ones that CAN wear them or go without them, in other words: those of you build like Vin Diesel, are either gay or married. The married ones will only be wearing them cause their wives wanted to brag.... See what I'M sleeping with! And we, as woman, know and respect this.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. Maybe, but you can't use your cleavage to get discount!!!!! Same applies for speeding tickets, accident scenes and any other activity that involves a man. Cleavage RULES!!
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. And thus, you mostly have problems with poisen ivy infestation in all kinds of places other than arms, legs and MAYBE face, like we girls do. Ever had to rub ointment on someone else's balls? It is revolting - we do not really feel sorry for you, we giggle about it behind your back.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay. Not anymore!!!!
Wrinkles add character. Now there is a whopper. A fanny doesn't get wrinkels, but you guys do, trust me - I've seen it and it is NOT pretty.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. Again, this can be chalked up to you - most designers of wedding dresses are men, right? Which is why I am of the opinion that men came up with the idea - just another way to torture woman. I'm also a firm believer (and actually KNOW this for a fact: do ur own bloody research) that men created BRA'S and HIGH HEELS, not to mention the chastity belt.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. Except when you're in a water park. See comments above and then it strictly in revultion and horror.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. By your male friends, who, at the ripe age of 45 still haven't mastered this one little sentence: "Thank you for ______, it was really nice."
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Bullshit. Ever worn cowboy boots?
One mood all the time. Yeah, constant PMS, only you guys get to call it spermretention and it's a catch-22 situation - you act like a fart face, so you don't get laid, the less you get laid, the more of a fart face you become. This is another reason to love your vibrator :o)
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. So is sex!
You know stuff about tanks. Big whoop. We can do research if we really want to know about tanks, which we don't. Also we can cook off the top of our heads, do washing without staining all of it, think on our feet and use whatever you say completely out of context and convince you that's how you meant it..... the list is endless. Makes knowing 'stuff' about tanks seem kind of pathetic.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. And when we get there, we basically have to buy you a new wardrobe, cause the only logical thing you packed was your underwear. You did not bother to watch the weather forcast, so you packed all your summer clothes for our trip to Alaska. Brilliant. You might leave home with one suitcase, but you leave your destination with 2, one of them industrial size to fit in all the stuff we needed to buy.
You can open all your own jars. And? Actually, so do we, but how do you think we pick you up? Ask the cute guy next door to open the jar for you, show lots of cleavage and flutter your eyelashes. You never have to buy your own chocolates again!
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. For instance forgetting your caveman ancestors and thanking us for preparing yet another fantastic meal for you. You only show these moments if you've had sex recently, which, once again, you should thank us for.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Because every store knows that that is the ONLY thing a man takes on vacation. We, on the other hand, actually have NICE underwear. It goes with the cleavage thing and again, with our underwear we can get you to do anything. Your underwear doesn't turn ANYONE on.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. Your shoes have nothing to do with seduction. Imagine this: mini skirt, low cut top, pantyhose and a pair of stilletto's... eat your heart out!
You almost never have strap problems in public. We adjust our straps to direct your eyes to where we want it to be. Butt or boobs, depending on the outfit.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Which is why, when there is a stylishly dressed man around, all the woman stare and why men have constant whiplash, so many stylish woman around.. We also realise, if you are neatly dressed, you're either married or gay.
Everything on your face stays its original color. What a crock. Ever seen what you look like after a long night at the bar? Black rings under the eyes, greenish glow to skin and ever so often a blue eye and a broken nose. We can, if need be, hide all this with make-up and you will be none the wiser.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. Because there is so little of it left. Choose one to best hide the baldness hey?
You only have to shave your face and neck. We are confident enough to shave where we want and besides, all the hair you leave on makes you smell bad. Woman always smell nice, because we're hygenic.
You can play with toys all your life. But the toys WE get to play with when we are grown up are SO much better. Blow-up doll vs Vibrator..... we win, again.
Your belly usually hides your big hips. And then you spoil it all by going around without a shirt.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. Which is why more men suffer from frostbite. We know how to dress for the occasion, whatever it may be. Most wives buy their husband's clothes and 'dress' them before a big event, so they can at least resemble a stylish man. It lasts about 5 minutes, then the infamous belch and it's all over.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. Right, you keep telling yourself that and we'll keep laughing at you.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. Right after you belch and pick your nose.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. And we have freedom of choice on withholding sex as long as you don't oblige to our choice in the matter.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. And piss everyone off, even on Christmas.

No wonder men are happier!!!!!! They're not really, we just let them believe they are.